From Lisa: I wish all of you could have known Ray. He was a special man. Of course, we are all special, and there are many great men who deserve to have their homilies on Facebook or elsewhere, but he was one of those 'angels among us.' Below is the text of Pastor Cynthia Krommes' homily at Ray's memorial service. There is nothing I can add except the funny image that comes to mind when I think of Ray in heaven - although he of course is ecstatic at being reunited with his beloved Shirley and meeting his Lord face-to-face, I can't help but think that he is a tad disappointed (if such a thing is possible in heaven) that there is no one to evangelize to! I hope you'll take the time to read this and meet Ray; we all can learn so much about love from him.
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Memorial Service for Raymond Seibel
St. John’s Lutheran Church
September 28, 2010
John 1: 35-51
Philip said to Nathanael, “Come and see.”
Just seven weeks ago we gathered here for a memorial service for Shirley, Raymond’s beloved wife, and now here we are again, this time for Raymond. To lose Shirley and Ray to death – one to cancer, the other to prolonged heart disease – is not fair, and in fact is overwhelming, especially to their family. They were trying to adjust to living without Shirley, now Ray is gone too. This is grief upon grief, sadness upon sadness, sorrow multiplied that is almost too much to bear. During my last visit with Ray, just before leaving for Tanzania, he confessed that he still cried for Shirl every day. I told him that was O.K., it was part of grief. “I don’t think I’ll ever stop crying,” he replied. Now we cry for him too. Our tears started flowing with Shirley’s death and now they roll on with Ray’s, united as they were for 47 years of marriage, grief mingled as one. And so today we while we mourn Raymond, our grief at the lost of Shirley is renewed too. It is a grief compounded, in part because God gave us so much through them, just as God gave them each other and their wonderful family.
Ray loved to tell how the gift was given on Christmas Eve during the celebration of the birth of our Lord Jesus. That’s when he proposed to Shirley and she said yes. I don’t know if he did it during the sermon, but I would not be surprised, because if Ray had something important to say, he said it, often leading Shirley to declare, “Not now, Raymond.” For all the years since that Christmas Eve, their marriage continued to be a gift to each other and to us. I remember how when we had some Evening Light candles that had burned down too far to use, and I put them in a box marked “free,” Ray snatched them up, took them all home to surprise Shirley. When she came in from work, dinner was on the table, and the whole house was full of candlelight. “I love my Shirl,” he said with a twinkle in his eye. God’s gift of love given to us in the Christ Child, was alive in their marriage and family.
This gift of love mattered so much to Raymond that he unabashedly shared it. An extrovert, Ray loved being an evangelist. No matter where he was, he invited others to “come and see” God’s love at work, especially here at St. John’s. He had an evangelist uniform – his St. John’s hat and his St. John’s tee shirt which he wore with great pride and enthusiasm. Once he told me that he had taken to roaming the aisles of the Acme and when he came across a pregnant woman, he’d invited her to have her baby baptized at St. John’s. He’s the only person I’ve ever known to evangelize those yet to be born. Then while in the check out line, he’d converse with the other folks in line, the cashier, anyone who would listen, about church and invited them to worship. He did this with such joy because he was sharing the love of God – love freely given to him in the gift of faith, the gift of Shirley, the gifts of Alicia and Jimmy, Charlie, Jeanne, and his beloved grand-daughters, Jeanette, Rachel and Sarah as well as Jason, Peter, Stephanie and Zachary and the gift of the Church. “Come and see the gift of love alive,” Raymond would say to almost everyone he met. Later when he and Shirley retired to North Wildwood, he shared God’s love by shopping for the poor. It was his job and he did it with joy.
Ray discovered that God’s love multiplies when it is shared and he delighted in that. In fact it was so important to him, that almost every Monday morning, he come to my office to talk about how Sunday had gone at St. John’s. Our “Monday-morning Quarterback,” Ray wanted to improve our welcome to guests, to encourage the ease in which they could follow the service and to make sure we never ran out of bulletins. Sometimes he would be critical of a hymn that had too many verses or a sermon that went on too long, but it was always said in love, to help us be a congregation that live in, grew through and shared God’s love. However there was this one Monday, nine years ago. He had been down the shore for the whole summer and during that time we welcomed Abdul and Kamal Fahar, our first set of refugees. “So, why did we have to go to Somalia to help someone when we have so many people who need our help right here in Phoenixville?” Ray bluntly asked. It was a good question and so I reminded of him all the ways St. John’s already helped in our community, from PACS to St. Mary’s Shelter to the new Clinic. He nodded, but I could see he wasn’t convinced. So I said, “You know, Ray when we look at the world we see all the divisions between peoples and nations, but when God looks at the world, God sees everyone.” With that he smiled this huge smile, “Everyone?” I could see him imagining the evangelism possibilities, and responded, “Everyone.” When I walked him down the hall, there were Abdul and Kamal. They had ridden their bicycles over to meet Pastor McMullan. I introduced them to Ray. He firmly shook their hands, gave them friendly hello and invited them to join the Church. I explained that they were Muslims and not Christians and they worship God four times a day. Ray said to them, “That’s better than me, I just do it on Sunday.” With that he said good-bye and was out the door – on to Acme with love to share.
Which is what is going on in our Gospel for today – John the Baptizer points Jesus out to two of his disciples who then follow him. One of them, Andrew then tells his brother Simon Peter and brings him to Jesus. Next, Jesus finds Philip and invites him to follow and Philip finds Nathanael and tells him to “Come and see.” One to another to another to another, until Jesus promises Nathanael, indeed promises us all that we will see even greater things, and tells us of heaven opening and the angels of God ascending and descending upon the Son of Man.
“Come and see,” our Lord said to Raymond and Raymond said to us. But Jesus promises even greater things – the kingdom of heaven with dancing angels and the fullness of God. Shirley was given the reality of this promise first and Raymond followed shortly after. While that causes us grief for we miss them so much, let us also embrace the promise of new life in Christ that they both enjoy. Given to them in their baptism, lived out in their lives, the promise sustained them and gave them joy.
“Come and see,” Raymond said to us – sharing God’s gift of love. May we say it to others through our words and deeds, now and forevermore. Amen.
Pastor Cynthia Krommes
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